#i kinda don't like this and it could be more polished but whatever the vision is there

[fearandhatred]

ok so what if the reason crowley likes watching aziraphale eat is because nothing he does for himself can give him back the pleasure he felt when creating his stars, so the next closest feeling to that is through experiencing someone else's greatest pleasures. but it will never be enough

text below the cut

hunger is a funny thing; multifaceted, duplicitous there's a hunger to give and a hunger to take the hunger of passion and the hunger of greed

i knew only of the first type of hunger, before time, before sorrow back when there was just the explosions of supernovas, the heat of the cosmos, the planets in my grasp and the world at my feet back when i was the barycenter of the universe and all my steps created consecrated ground the souls at my tabernacled fingertips, helpless, hopeless, defenceless the power to do whatever i wanted to them and choosing only kindness

that was before i knew how it feels to have it all stripped away to go from being larger than life to living in it; from creating to the realisation of having been created, at the mercy of things of my own design to be helpless, hopeless, defenceless, in a world that was never kind to me

that was before i knew the agony of hunger pangs, bone deep and spiritual that carved out my marrows, left me substanceless and corrosive everywhere and nowhere, that nothing i did could satiate that nothing can satiate but grace

there's a hunger to give and a hunger to take and the damned have nothing left to give

but you do.

you take and you take and you take, never left wanting a taking borne not from desperate emptiness, for once, but one of indulgence you gorge yourself with selfish pleasure, glut yourself with food unneeded fulfilment, hunger stacked upon already-there satisfaction and in taking, so also do you give

with each fistful you grabbed of that ox rib i could imagine snatching my stars out of the sky pressing them down between my palms, permanent claiming marks seared into my hands i imagined swallowing them down, eruptions of light and neutrons on my tongue with each sip you take of wine i imagine myself sucking in the universe galaxies and planets orbiting in my stomach, the centre of the world's gravity i imagine breathing in liquid life, the warmth of existence stinging my throat

and for the first time, my hunger is sated by watching you sate yours for now, it's enough for me to just watch

so establish this covenant with me: take your fill of animals, of drink, of everything within reach stuff your heart full, consume the world raw, and i'll do the same with my eyes but after that, tear the flesh off my frame, gnaw on my hollow bones strip me of the little i'm still worth, leave me bare and stranded feast on my body, broken for you do this in remembrance of me, and maybe i'll do the same

because that hunger of creation i can never get back, no matter how much i try so now i just gorge myself on you

[batidochokolat]

Beauty Pageant Contender (Genderbend AU) Pony 🎀

Hear me out, I swear I’m not crazy—I’ve just been rewatching Insatiable a lot these days

The idea is fem!Ponyboy being really in pageants and eventually going to regionals. I know it sounds contradictory, but that’s what makes it work. It’s subversive I swear! (Genderbend AU) Pony would be the last girl anyone thinks could become Miss something americana (or whatever pageants they have in the U.S., idk lol). She’s super focused on her books and her own little world, going mostly unnoticed by others her whole life.

But then, something changes—maybe an event or an interaction with an outsider that sparks this new path for her. Let’s say most of the girls in the pageants are Socs, and back then, a lot of pageants offered scholarships. Pony’s smart, has great grades, knows how to answer questions, and has a compelling story for the judges, but she needs a lot of polishing. Once she’s in, though? It would be wild.

I imagine Darry and Sodapop going all-in as pageant coaches. Soda I think would probably really focus on the beauty and charisma side of things, while Darry, being the former football star and always thinking about Pony’s future, would crush the competitive side. But as Ponyboy advances through this world, the pressure starts getting to her. Suddenly, she’s being seen, and the weight of competing against these other girls really hits hard.

At the same time, there’s a part of her that loves it. She feels like she’s representing something and doesn’t want to let her brothers down. The experience pushes her to grow... more confident—not just in looks (which she hadn’t really considered before this whole thing, that was always Soda’s thing and she was too young)—but in what she represents by being there.

Then, you could explore how this affects Pony’s relationship with the gang. I feel like Two-Bit and Soda would be super supportive, but Dallas and Johnny would be more skeptical. Dallas would see pageants as something for Socs, thinking those girls would crush someone like Pony. Johnny’s concerns would be more personal—he’s happy that Pony is working on her insecurities, but it changes their dynamic. They were insecure and awkward together, and now that his friend is wearing fake eyelashes is kinda different.

Also, don't even get me started on my hcanons for this AU in how this could lead to Pony meeting or getting closer to Curly and Angela Shepard. It would create the most unexpected dynamics, even at a local beauty pageant. Like yeah purly, but also an unexpected pony&angela bonding.

Anyway, I can’t stop thinking about this, so if anyone sees the vision or wants more details on this AU, let me know! ❤️😭

[sibyl-of-space]

oOOOOooohhhhhhhh i get it now. i have Identified the Problem that has caused the most recent amadeus-related crisis/spiral/whatever you want to call it.

there are 5-ish "roles" that i have taken on as a solo dev:

project manager

musician/sound director

programmer/implementation engineer

writer/narrative lead

artist/art director

and for each i THOUGHT i had figured out how to tackle them.

project management: I've had some experience managing collaborative projects (GBA collab album, mystery jam game), I also solicited advice from other indie devs I met at Seattle Indies Expo, and I *also* applied what I learned about how we manage projects in facilities at my day job using Asana and have applied that to Amadeus. I very consciously treated this as a skill to learn and taking that specific skill seriously has helped a lot.

music: ...I straight up went to grad school for this. I took like a billion units every semester so I could learn as much as possible about composition AND mixing/production. This is the one thing I actually have a strong background in. I have the skillset and I also have People I can ask for feedback and advice. The music is lowkey going to carry this whole project.

programming: I went into this knowing full well I have exactly One semester of Unity/C# under my belt and have no idea what I am doing. I have experience learning basic HTML and JavaScript and have reverse engineered most of Ghost Trick's code via ROMhacking, so I have a sort of janky skillset, but it's very amateur and I knew that. I have asked SO many questions to people who are more experienced. KNOWING that this is my weakest suit has let me ask for help when I need it, and also accept that even the most polished possible form of this game is still going to be jank as fuck. That's fine. My #vision will still come through.

writing: the whole reason I set aside an entire month to just focus on the Mystery Jam game was because I knew I needed more experience writing, and specifically writing mystery. I've spoiled the whole game to two different people who have writing experience in order to bounce ideas and get feedback. I've asked for workflow advice from a third person with writing experience. Identifying this as a weakness has helped me focus on improving it, and because of that I am really happy with where it's at right now.

Which leads us to....

...art.

My problem with art is that as of about 2 years ago, I was much more confident in my art than I was in basically anything else except music, because I have drawn stuff my whole life and have a shitload of informal practice at it. So I focused very heavily on the other stuff that was very obviously a weakness.

But, as we approach the final months of Go Time to finish the first episode... I'm like, hm, it turns out that the art and art direction of a visual novel are kind of important.

I *like* all of the assets I've drawn for the currently existing demo, but there are specific things about the overall look I don't quite like, and there is a specific metanarrative Thing that I have been trying to evoke with what I'm doing visually and I feel like sticking to that is at odds with making assets that look and "feel" right.

Basically I haven't really thought as much about art direction as I should have since finishing the demo because I kinda figured I could coast on the fact I consider myself a pretty good artist. I can make things that look Nice. But now that I've worked hard at my other areas of weaknesses, the fact I haven't really sat down with my art direction in the past 4-5 months is really starting to become obvious.

All this to say.

My "assignment" for this afternoon is to sit outside listening to all the tracks I've written (including new WIP ones no one but me has heard yet CUZ THEYRE AWESOME im SO excited about the new tracks im writing for this) and reading through my revised narrative with certain finalized plot points and concepts, and just sketching out visually what the game Should Look Like. I am almost certain I can still use the assets I've already drawn, like the sprites and backgrounds and icons and such, but I may edit them differently, or add to them, or otherwise change something about them. I just need to make some choices because I'm feeling stuck and I need to get un-stuck if I am going to finish this game AND I AM DETERMINED TO DO SO.

[literaticat]

If an author does an R&R for an editor/publisher that results in an offer, would they expect not to receive huge edit notes after that as presumably the R&R addressed most of the concerns? Also, why do some publishers ask for these first and others offer first?

In my experience, an editor will ask for an R&R for three main reasons:

A: They have some specific vision for the book that may not be the author's intention at all, and they want to make sure the author is down for that. So they are basically saying, look, this is potentially different from what you were thinking, I totally get that you might not want to do this, if not, no sweat, but should you decide you are on board with this, I'd love to see it again.

B: AND/OR, the author is new, has no track record, and they want to make sure that they are actually good at revising before handing them a contract and bag of money. (Not to say that all debut authors will get an R&R -- not at all! Just, sometimes, particularly if it is an A type scenario; if the editor is talking to an author with a TON of experience who very clearly knows how to revise a book and has a great track record, they might take the author's word for it and be fine with just a conversation, but an unknown author, the proof would be in the pudding, yanno?)

C: AND/OR, they have already shared with their editorial team or at least talked about the work with some of their colleagues, they want to bring this to acquisitions, but they know based on these conversations and their own lived experience that in-house support for the title and their ability to acquire it will be greater if certain changes are made. In other words, they really want to give this THE BEST POSSIBLE CHANCE to get through acquisitions, and they want to do whatever tweaks/changes are going to help their case so that they can get this book.

(It could be all three, mind you -- or any combo!)

However, editors don't usually write a huge editorial letter for an R&R, it's more likely to be kinda 'big picture thoughts' or a focus on one or two particular things. (Writing a real editorial letter requires actual deep thought and a lot of time -- they aren't likely to be spending that kind of time on something for an author they don't know and aren't working with!) So just because they are asking for changes before they can offer doesn't necessarily mean they are HUGE changes. They might in fact not be that big a deal at all. And it also might not involve revising THE ENTIRE BOOK.

Here's an example of an "all three" scenario: Let's say they know that for whatever reason, their boss is more likely to say yes if {X} -- and in this made-up example, {X} = "this book has a 12 year old protag rather than a 14 year old."

A - they'd float that past you/your agent - are you even OK with this? If not really, well, OK, fair enough. If yes, great, well, B, you're new, would you be open to revising the first few chapters with this in mind? So that C, they can show that sample to their boss at acq. and say, see how wonderful this 12 year old protagonist is, shouldn't we buy this?

If that worked and they did indeed make an offer / buy the book, you'd still get a regular editorial letter. In this case, it would include whatever else would have gone into an editorial letter + whatever thoughts they might have bearing in mind that the protag will now be 12. (Because of course, that change would potentially have ramifications throughout the book!)

As for the second question: why do some publishers ask for these first and others offer first? -- If they know that whatever they will be asking for will not be a big deal, they are confident you are able and willing to revise, and what you've given them is already polished enough to show the boss, they don't need to ask for an R&R.

[possession1981-moving]

aleks!! it’s your borfday !!! happy happy happy birthday ♡〜٩( ᐢ⸝⸝› ‹⸝⸝ᐢ)۶〜♡ I hope your day has been wonderful and you got a little smth nice for yourself whatever it may be because you deserve it !! I also hope Jacob is taking you on a date or else it’s ass whopping time anyway ! I am here to present you with a couple things so ahem

to our one and only belovedest Aleks goes the 🏆 best cc on tumblr award 🏆 need I say more? I think a lot of ppl would agree with me here, you never cease to amaze with your creations, I remember when you followed me back it felt kinda crazy cause your stuff is on such a different level you can make anything and everything look so beautiful and nice and polished. truly insane. mind blowing. award deserving. I could spend hours looking at your work ♡

ofc the 🏆 best fashion mutual 🏆 also goes out to thee, I’ve already told you this but you have. The Vision. you Know. you Understand. I always love to hear your takes on ppl’s outfits srsly I live for your fashion reviews and insight, I mean you are after all a fashion icon in your own right so it only makes sense

I also have to bestow you Thee Official Taemin Mutual🏅title, I mean not that you weren’t already just personally I cannot listen to a Taemin song now without having a little thought for you, hoping that you are well wherever you are, the two of you are indivisible in my brain literally if I ever meet Taemin I feel like all I would wanna say to him would be like “my friend is your biggest fan !” yk

and finally the🏅coolest mutual award🎖️ I mean just. overall. idk how else to put it, you’re so cool and fun and nice and the best ? my tumblr experience wouldn’t be worth half of what it is if it wasn’t for you, it probably doesn’t seem like much being on tumblr but you have such a positive impact on this site I hope you know that, thank you for being here and being yourself ♡

sorry for the very long message x_x sending big love on your special day!^^ I’ll see you later when me and the guys bring you your cake in your room and sing you hbd, please try to act surprised :0 also don’t tell jongin i told you but the rover announcement was an early bday present for you shhh~ ily ❤️

first of all neo i am sorry for leaving this for like 4 hours i was trying to think of ways to adequately respond because actually i don't think u know this but like genuinely thoroughly forreal you are one of the most important people on this website to me and i'm still always like wow <3333333333 neo interacted with me <333333333 neo liked my gifs 👉🏻👈🏻 and so on and so forth.... but i have now returned from my date so u don't have to be beating anyone up babes altho i appreciate the sentiment <3 i will make sure to act surprised when u show up w the cake tho i promise

now to accept these awards that i do not feel like i am worthy of but i will accept anyways because i love u so much and value ur opinion so highly i would like to say that one of the greatest ccs on the entire platform awarding my content feels like a fever dream, and your judgment of my coolness means everything to me actually like. kissing u. <3333 and i hope u know that as much as u think of me when u listen to taemin i think of u when i listen to baekhyun (AND miss suzy!!!!!!) or probably even more in fact. now when it comes to the fashion awards i can only humbly accept and say that i think it's CRIMINAL that we don't have our own fashion evaluation show to rival johnny's yet. we deserve it we are the ones who get it.

i will be thinking of this message for ages to come btw hope u know this..... ily ily ily 💞💕🍒

[bedrock-to-buildheight]

A couple pieces of writing for Encanto that didn't fit in the three (oh god, three) things I have going on. There's more (oh god) but those are just several hundred words of Just Dialogue each and I don't have the energy to Wordify them. Do whatever you want with these, just get em out of my notes app

*

Amongst the wreckage, Julieta took one moment for herself and tried to measure the fifteen long years her daughters have carried their burdens, alone. When did Isabela's laugh grow cold and polished? When did the light dim in Luisa's eyes? And Mirabel left–

When did she failed like her mother has failed her?

But, said a soft voice in her head that sounded like Agustín, you didn't. Mirabel came to you with her troubles, the way you didn't come to Do��a Alma with yours. They all did. Julieta could almost feel his hands holding hers like all the nights when her worries got the better of her. Love hurts its bearer sometimes.

Julieta tucked away that little voice, between the peppermint and oregano, for worse days.

The thought would visit again. The truth remained that she had failed her daughters. But she did better than her mother. Wasn't that enough?

*

Bruno opened his door to the sight of Mirabel, looking sheepish. She sidestepped pass him, pass the sandfall, skirt sending a spray of sand onto his (futilely) swept floor.

"Sooo", she trailed, shoulders hunched, "I kinda sorta need a vision?"

Bruno stared at her form, still covered in sand. Something clicked.

"Camilo, you don't have to pretend to be Mirabel to ask for a vision." The Mirabel in front of him disappeared in a twirl of curls and fabrics, and in her place was a scowling sobrino.

"Aw, what gives?" He had a feeling the question was more directed towards the cliffs of his room than him, but still,

Mirabel standing at the threshold. Her grip on the doorframe was lax, yet there was fear in her eyes.

"Sorry, could you get the ruana you want mended for me? I would go myself buuut–" she trailed into a wince, "your room almost killed me last time and I had enough things falling on top of me for the next ten years."

Camilo got her cadence down pat. Bruno would be impressed in any other situation.

"I saw you coming?" It came out more uncertain than he intended. Still, Camilo only seemed mildly taken aback, as if he's only now realized that his tío was perfectly capable of having visions without someone requesting them.

[mediawhorefics]

hi marie! i have sort of a weird question to ask and i’m so sorry if i bother you with this. i have to do research in one of my classes which basically consists of finding certain paintings, sculptures, statues, letters whatever kinda speaks to me and inspires me to think about different themes…kinda? in terms of art.

soo…i know you’ve posted things in the past about van gogh’s paintings and letters and i was wondering what your favorite paintings are or anything else art related really. i know you mentioned his ‘sunflowers’ painting in tbow and i definitely wrote that down but since i love what art you share i thought i’d ask you.

oooohhh, yess i can def. tell you about my favourite paintings/art related thing !! i think this is probably gonna get awfully long and rambly and i apologise in advance for it rip. but here we go !!!

first of all, vincent van gogh is my favourite painter so gotta start with some of my favourites of his....

1. skull of a skeleton with a burning cigarette

i love this painting because vincent made it during his brief time at art school in antwerp and it's kind of a commentary/satire on what he considered to be rigid, pretentious, and conservative 'academic' artistic takes. which just delights me. this guy really spent a wee while at the royal academy of fine arts and said this is bullshit and boring and i'm learning nothing. fuck those guys. art is felt not taught so im gonna keep learning by myself. and he made this to make fun of them. and every time i look at it, it makes me smile. it's his darker more dutch palette too, before he lived in paris and met the impressionists and colours!!! for the first time which i think is a very interesting period in his career. even tho it's maybe less talked about/known. i don't know. i'm fond of it. i just read it as a massive middle finger to the establishment. and, if we do a modern read of it it could totally be an anti-smoking ad, which is pretty funny though. anyways, that skeleton's got attitude and i'm here for it.

2. the mulberry tree

this might be my absolute favourite van gogh painting and i hope one day i get to see it in person. i love most of vincent's paintings of trees, but this one is just so special to me. the fiery golden colours of an autumn day just really resonate with me. i want to live in it.

3. rain

there's nothing i love more than a rainy day and the colour green so this one particularly speaks to me. there's a passion and an imperfection to it that's just so beautiful to me. i really struggle with figurative art that's too polished and perfect. if it looks like a postcard, i'm often less interested? i need to see the artist's vision, the artist's soul, in the landscape and i think this one, like many others of vincent's paintings, express his passionate and intense personality.

4. sorrow

this is a drawing so i don't know if it counts but i'm very very fond of it. vincent made it only two years after deciding to become an artist apparently and it depicts a woman he was in a relationship with at the time. i just think it emotes so much so i always feel drawn to it. from vincent's letters: 'I want to make drawings that touch some people. Sorrow is a small beginning [...] there is at least something directly from my own heart.' july 1882

5. the sunflowers

i'm pretty sure i've said everything i needed to see about how these make me feel in tbow but i couldn't make a list of some of my favourite paintings without including them. that felt sacrilegious.

and now here are a few of my favourite paintings in general:

1. wanderer above the sea of fog

i mean, what else is there to say except paintings of seascapes awake something really primal inside of me and i've been in love with this painting for years. tts vibes anyone ? seriously though, there's a comfortable loneliness to it that i really relate to.

2. andy warhol's cat paintings

this is probably cheating since it's more than one but i just love them so much. i have a print of the blue one stuck to my wall that i bought in glasgow and i love it so much.

TBC